Visit to the Diary - Part 5

"Tues. Jan. 14, 2003

Ok, I've really decided to go for the religious discharge from the Army.  I just pray it would follow through.

I don't want to be a good enough Christian.  I like that.  It means I don't want to say, "Ok, I'm here, I'll make it to heaven now." and live my life.  I want to constantly seek God's will and call for me.  Things are happening at an amazing speed.  I am getting that fire God wants me to have.  Sorry this is short, but I feel I should read my bible now and pray.

-signing off-"

This might seem like a small insignificant post, but it really wasn't for me.  First, I was determined that I should be in missions AT THAT VERY MOMENT, and that getting in at any later date would be a lack of faith.  I researched military discharges and found one, basically for pacifists who say they disagree with all things the military stands for.  To do it, I had to fill out a long application and write an essay on why my religion barred me from any form of war-type activity or institution.  It was a bit of work, but I was determined.  After I got it all written and edited, I put it in the envelope and sealed it up.  Throughout the process, there was a guy at the base named Patrick who had been sort of coaching me through the whole discharge process.  The day I sent the letter out in the mail to my commanding officer, we prayed over the envelope that God's will would be done and that it would reach its destination.  I waited for a reply... and waited.  


It never came.  I wondered why, but I was too afraid to call the home office and ask about it.  The guys there weren't exactly friendly, and (being the new 'pacifist' that I was) I didn't really want to be ridiculed or have any sort of conflict with them verbally.  I prayed about the decision to call it quits on the Army quite a bit.  After a while, I decided that I had made a mistake- I found a way to stay in the military and still be in full time missions with YWAM.  This, by they way, was not God's will for me- more details in a later entry.


When my DTS ended, I went home and checked in with my National Guard Armory.  I was expecting a change in their attitude toward me.  I figured they must have gotten the letter and just ignored it.  Either way, they never mentioned the discharge attempt, and never treated me worse for it.  I know what happened though- when I prayed over that letter with Patrick for God's will to be done, it was.  I know that God caused that envelope to not reach its destination.  He had other plans for me.  More later.