Visit to the Diary - Part 4

Just a little about this entry first.  In 2003 when I was in DTS, I was also in the Army National Guard.  Having made a 6 year commitment, there was virtually no way of getting out.  To me at the time, this was a huge obstacle to what God had put on my heart...

"Jan. 13, 2003

Steve Sizemore spoke in class today.  I think he is here for the week.  It's amazing how just when you think you've learned something about everything, a speaker talks about a totally new concept, or really puts things into perspective.  I love it here.  I am asking God to really put a fire in me and He is!  I'm getting more and more into prayer, worship, intercession, etc.  I've decided to give it all to God and seek His will.  I feel He is calling me to full-time missions (I'm thinking overseas).  I have a problem though.  I will give up school, I will give up home and friends there, but the Army- I don't know if they will give me up.  But God said to go into all the world and speak the good news, and so I feel called to do that.  I'm going to research religious discharges from the Army.  I'm still confused though, as to God's clear will for me.

Ok, new subject.  God is really working in me.  I find myself judging people less and less, and I am really working on my humility.  I want to achieve pridelessness.  I am finding things in me I never thought I could have.  It's wonderful.  Today has been good.  Thank you, Father.  Good night.

Me before   : /          Me now  :)   [those were smiley faces I drew]

p.s. I'm finding myself being transformed.  It's so much easier to be nice now."

Even then, I felt God pulling me toward the path I would eventually take, even if it didn't pan out like I thought it would.  I remember feeling so energized by the whole experience, that I thought I needed to give up everything right then and there and go full out for God.  He knew though, that if I did it then, I would have burnt out.  I wasn't ready.  More about my thoughts on the Army next time...